The Fiercest Boots on Planet Earth

I admit it--I'm a little slow on the uptake. The fiercest boots on Planet Earth have actually been around for a while. Blake Lively rocked them last January--at Gossip Girl costume designer Eric Daman's bash at Henri Bendel in Manhattan--and somehow they have only come to my attention this weekend? Time to get with the program Jensy. I saw them featured on the "B*tch Stole My Look" portion of Fashion Police this week and the strangest thing... last night, I dreamed I owned them.

My complex, anxiety-ridden dreams are usually spent falling, or saving loved ones from attackers, or trying to run without being able to move the legs (too much information, readers? Maybe. I apologize). For me to actually dream about pulling on, purchasing, and sashaying around this glittery city in these heavenly boots, they must have really made an impact right?

Please check out the thigh-high perforated stretch faux-leather Stella McCartney wonders. Everything Blake Lively ever wears looks perfect, because she is. But these are one of those hot ticket, high fashion items that for whatever magical reason, could actually work on real people--people who don't look, or spend, like Miss Lively. She did bring them to glory, though. That goes without saying. The blazer, crisp white shirt and effortlessly pulled back hair make the statement, "Oh, funny that, I just happened to pull these boots on while making my way to this party where I didn't put any thought into how I'd look, but hell, I do look great."

Last week Madonna rocked them at the Fashion Delivers Gala at New York's Waldorf Astoria, paired with a shimmery sheath and wavy blonde locks. The Material Girl looked like a million bucks.

So tight, so shiny, they look almost as if they been melted on the leg for the wearer. Is it the resemblance they bear to a stretch-leather legging that has me floored, or the fact that they literally work with everything? The metallic heel is its own topic of splendor. The perforated pattern? It's stunning. It's modern yet oddly classic, and somehow reminiscent of ancient warrior duds. Perfection.

Unfortunately sold out on net-a-porter.com, they were on sale for around $1,100. We can only hope some girl whose legs are just ever so slightly short receives and returns them, so more become available. Where else? Where can I find these boots? And how will I justify spending the rent money on them?

Till I figure it all out, at least a girl can dream...